unfinished

Today I felt the utmost fear, the fear of losing myself. I cried during prayer, I cried while breathing, I’m crying while thinking. I woke up in a good state, but as my day progressed, or slowed down, I started to swallow myself. I suddenly feared losing my smile, I feared losing the truth, I feared losing my love, I feared being a corpse with no spirit. You start to not see your place in the world, I laugh now, but earlier I felt like I was digging my own grave; I momentarily drifted away from myself and became a worldly entity. I was alone, but so consumed with what I should be, where I should be in the standards of this earth. Fear will lead you to the darkest of alleys, to think I almost had a pity party. I know I needed this day though, feels like it was a reflection of the ‘me’ on the other side.

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