With deeds, there are many who will make you aspire to make money, but there are few who will inspire you to live.
As I was being transported into a scenic trance by the clouds, I stumbled into a road that I had travelled on a million times, but had never visited with a tempering spirit. I felt myself stepping into a mans shoes, who at a time, in that very same spot, met the woman that would change his path. I stepped into the life of a woman, who in that same road thought her life was not worth living, until she came across a group of happy hawkers all chanting praises of her beauty, she was immediately embarrassed by her earlier state of mind. This road has many stories, a shared drink by the hawkers who swept these roads with their untamed joy. It has stories of a young girl excited to reach her destination, where her love awaited with garish gestures. This road has stories of a mother battling with her mind, praying with every step that tomorrow holds a better day for her and her loved ones. These roads have many footsteps, holds many questions, answers, secrets, revelations. It is a road travelled by me and many, but today it took me on a journey into the hearts of individuals I have never met, but who like me share a wonderful blessing, the blessing of being loved by God, beyond our circumstances and actions, beyond the time and space between us. Maybe I’m a crazy girl stuck in wonderland, but one thing I know is that I would love to hear the stories of the people who have travelled on this road.
I have never tried to make you stay, even though I was always there, unrelenting, only momentarily fantacising of being away. You were free beyond the constrictions of love, only binded by your own intuition. Comical isn’t it how now, only now, you yearn for the sound of my words, the truth in my affection. It was easy for you to watch me praise your ghost, sacrifice my time to serving ashes, pour my love into a cistern that you would leave to be polluted by the impurities of your actions. I was always there, unrelenting, watching with no resentment, but now I’m not there anymore but here, in a place where you do not belong.
He is lonely. Although he has never said it, I see it in his countenance, I hear it when he delivers his words. I know I can relieve him from his wallowing, but I know I can never stay so I would rather he has a lifetime of fulfillment than a moment of happiness.
The fear of being blind, the fear of being deaf. What have I been doing with myself the past week, feeling so detached from Gods work. Have you ever gone temporarily blind, simply walking in the direction of the wind, unmoved by all that is in front of you, simply putting one foot in front of the other, unaware of all that surrounds you? I have travelled these roads before, have seen things similar to those that appear today, but it should never be the same, I know there is always something new to discover in that same building that you wake up in, in that same road you drive by, in that same deli you eat at everyday, in that same creature you encounter everyday. I fear blindness because it dulls my senses, clouds my sight, to me it signals that I cannot see Gods magnificent creation, that I haven’t been in his presence, that I haven’t been living for a while. Now hearing, that’s another story, I get teary just thinking of losing both 😦